>>9333no not here but i have existensial crisis.
on one hand i dont like pretending to be schizophrenic im really not
on another hand i am kind of schizophrenic as well if like doctor heard my thoughts etc.
basically a doctor told me to or recommended me to visit psychiatrist. thats what
but im too scare do fcalling them
i need to write some kind of letter or something to warn that things might be grim or something.
basically heres the deal
>my medical card says something about scchizophrenia>but i have only visit psychiatrist like twice and i dont rmeemebe reven talking to her i just remember her treating me like shit>just liek i sadi in my old vlog i was in psychiatrichospital but… like how to say it. i exprienced fucking nothingfirstly, psychologist gave me some memory tests i kind of failed them it was hard for me to concenrtate and i have very bad memory
so i cant memorize.
then first time i remember telling a psychiatrist a bunch of bullshit its hard to remember what exactly but it waas normal conversation but at some point he transferred me to differetn building only me? for further study?
anyway nothing fucking happened in that building except these memory tests literally
one day doctor looked at my arms they were shaking from fear and told me "uh yeah he has to stay for more"
but it was a montht which was kind of minimal stay there anyway, it wasnt long.
after i was pulled out i was at psychiatrist only twicce and then i didnt want to go anymore.
and i dont get any money or considered disabled either?
it is basically an eh? moment.
in other words im in the between worlds
on other hand pretending to be mentally ill can take away your service time
on another hand i am not really mentally ill nor am i completely stable. im somewhere in between
honestly, telling her the truth seems like my best option but i dont know how these conversations will go. it all scares the fuck out of me i dont want to explore neither