Firstly, boobs arent the only sexy part of woman. There are many things that are enjoyable annd honestly to me its just an enigma. I am not sure I understand why I like it. For example, artificial onahole makes me feel cringe, or fake bodypillows and etc. IF its not real human then it doesn't feel attractive, sure of course this is simply psychological. And psychologically you can not like anything but some fundamental things are so fundamental that it's difficult to think of it as not sexy. As I am writing this post, it is in my hopes to comprehend my childhood infatuation with boobs and why I liked them so much since early age. But firstly I'd like to establish what pleasure is and how it exists for me. I think it is crucial to accept that it is part of my identity or personality or some kind of character that plays on my obsessions. Maybe I am just cruel or maybe it is my instinct to seek force until something finally breaks? I am not sure really how it works, but definitely sexual desires are intertwened with one's view of the world. Perhaps, my autistic way of thinking also? When I think about what makes me feel sexually motivated it goes without saying that fundamentally all of them are normal with a pinch of sadism? or some kind of mania… I think my inability to accept static peaceful life plays huge part in the way I think of sex itself - I want more and more of explosion. A big explosion, and I am waiting for it, waiting for it.. Like someone who is obsessed with rollercoasters I have this margin of infantility in me. I wanted things that are cool as a kid and not cool, and hanged with people who were weird and avoided the ones who were normal and stable. In that regard, my taste is also reason why I avoided many degenerate things like prostitution or hook ups, simply put I hate normal solution to problem. I hate even contemplating it. In my world everything is abstract. And I enjoy the premise of such existence, so that is why I am so much slower than everyone, why I am such an autist!
The size of human palm is around 7 inches, the amount of squeeze human arm can do can equal to 450 - 700 Newtons, that means that this potential force can break almost anything except solid bone structure. The surface area is irrelevant, all this strength exists in a human body, in my body and it feels powerful to squeeze something with it. But pleasurable is when you are by far far stronger than the object you are sqeuezing, it is reaffirmation of
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