/pol/ - Politically Correct

pwned

since nobody is using my fortress, my Stalingrad, Wootingrad as itºs said, I guess I can use it for shitposting at least for now.

MatGOD troonslayer 2000000

>if you keep leaving these comments we might have censor-ACK you

really, really you have to larp as cattle all your life. thats what they want. the cities are large farms of dystopian societies
all of this shit
i don't want civilized world
i want a one that is torn.
you cant give anything to normies. being defeated by internet and by normie corporations, it waas all terrible. now the internet is filled with cattle.
cattlefarm slaughterhouse nothing matters nothing looks beautiful everything is consumed as daily dose of cheap alcohol.
it is like humancentipede irl. normie pdfs are just demoralizing.

4chan originated as just gooning hell.

because users of something awful were banned from posting porn.

hm… maybe I should add more gooner boards one day…

the only way I see making this site mainstream is sponsorship from hezbollah or some crazy shit like that, that'd be the luckiest straw.

https://www.washingtoninstitute.org/islamicstateinteractivemap/#home-
some schizo map of islamist activities in 2025

>>53874
sometimes I froget that crocus city attack happened only recently in winter

>>53876
idk what he's saying but its trvthspeak probably.

i was just now thinking about how we will live with 50 billion humans, man…. wow. 50 billion generation beta with phones on the internet.
i wish churro was popular but not too popular.
man i wonder how I can get it out there without buying 10000$ acktube ads.

on other hand buying physical banners in russia is…
1 banner or 3 small banners with wagecucking job is plausible.. (that is already close to living irl hellish dystopian nightmare)
but i dont want this place for russia
on another hand trying to buy anything american, like english ads
IS FUCKING HARD its way too expensive even if you wagecucked for year its out of the question plus these ads are not very respected.
imo, it still is SORT of a better option. hell, if newgrounds or 4chan were run by really rich people they could've pulled it off too.
but these places are not really in position to buy ads that are way too competitive. especially from third world shithole like me i can't do that.
I had this thought what if like in the future poor people are forced to become terrorists… by being paid to promote corporate brands in their manifesto?… No seriouisly, imagine someone comitting terrorism because he was blackmailed out of hunger/miserable life and that his only salvation is to be small worthless лiлcow and he will send money he made for the attack to his families.
That already happened but imagine adding unfunny internet jargon into it like touhou or some retarded obnoxious fnf shit.

I need to battle against the fucking globalism
I was thinking of making money from this site but that's not the problem.
the real issue is globalism itself.
the congregation of mass murder. do you really think if you take away people's means of killing each other they will not corrupt other pure flavors into the same old? But i cannot have free time like this…

>>53879
i wonder how wagecucks do this. like how do they live and then decide to go on youtube or twitter to be angry about all day.
No fucking seriously, how do you live being so annoying and autistic while having full time job as well

reading this crap makes me happy. i forgot about wagecucking to buy ads.
man i wish there was better way but at best i can only buy very small amount of ads for per few thousand people and pray it will work some day. its kind of like gambling honestly…

oddly being NEET isn't really great, like there is no moment where you suddenly like the world or something. But it definitely gives plently of decent entertainment (and a lot of GARBAGE) like troons on 'tube that parasitise on your views even doe i haev adblocker)
ironic that if i advertise churro people oh well there is alwayws overchan or something for fellow adblockGODS.

imagine codemaxxing really hard and as you get old nobody wants to hire you simply out of age itself.

now think about the cope
there is some fucking guy on youtube who reacts to heckin' amogus with retarded face everyday and gets 4 million gazillion views he has no talent in almost anything. all he has to do is sell his soul to make retarded among us reactions and heckin' TEAM FORTRESS AMONG US HEROBRINE! x SANS FREDDY FUZBEAR video thumbnail. Now think about how the child that you created from marriage with feminist slut who left you watches that video of a guy whose life is so mogged. and then your only son/daughter/former son says he doesn't respect you and wants to become youtuber like the among us pedo, but he needs your money and steals your credit card. You also find out that he drops of school and plays genshin impact, zoomer parenting will be ngrlicious experience for sure.

it's called having a comfy pph, okay chud?

i want to watch shit but i know its just gonna waste my time. another day wasted.
i finished black clover, it was shit though.
i hate how i would want to know how it ends even if i hate everything about it.
i feel if white people made black clover like how narnia and folkloric stories it wouldve been well made.
but im done.
you know i always thought all of this is big scam. i want to make party games. and I feel like its connection between developer and user, not between the users. all of this is so selfish.
if everybody works very hard and working hard is the norm then what will happen? then working hard isnt really justice anyway. im too sad today

another day, I probably will be finishing churro.
if I don't get slammed by black pill in my heart, лiл. Uhhh, i really dont want to wagecuck i am autistic NEET but
i have definitely been wasting a few days spilling time so much. Churro will go down for maintenance for a few days because we will be moving to another domain.
and I'll get another server, probably.
running this site will be slightly more expensive now.

I was also thinking about how I get turned on by witches. witch's hat, confidence, bravery it turns me on. I am not really desirable person or whatever, but i am definitely more turned on towards fictional.

god i hate youtube and other troonslop, this is all fake and for attention. all videos are for attention. everything is fake as fuck there.

>>54068
when will the index pages top breaking… i havent even eaten yet…
fucking bitch!

>>53872
тестing quick reply cause of captcha size i had to fix its positioning.
i honestly want to replace captcha all together but atm its annoying.

ok, it seems there is no reason to use image gradient for the themes because it's actually slower. however, my ocd and I don't want to be a cuck trying to speed page on the site nobody even visits AT ALL. but i will have it in mind whenever i make a css

>>54074
the simple answer is that we are more handsome. at least in white countries.
also its not true because women fuck black guys very often as long as they lean and buffed.
its same as asking why do men like women so much
like why dont men help each other or donate money to each other, anwer is women are beautiful and required for own gains.
lookism is pretty much all hate that blacks get however a lot of is also culture. black people can look really rude as hell same with how is speak japanese will find me rude probably (idontcarethough)

>>54079
i just realized this is like the black anti-willian Luther pierce

>>54080
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/thoracic-outlet-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20353988
i might have it.
my left arm keeps giving up in training.

>>54082
I'll be honest, moderating and coding this clubbo is actually pretty fun.

>>53869
тест

graphics тест

>>54088
rwarwar

YES! just forgot to install ffmpeg sorry.

you should be able to load mp4s and webms now. i will add support for webm later.

i think its getting pretty late so no more stuff today.

>>53869
it turns out webp is also fixed and works.

>>54093
without goal my life is meaningless. I've been thinking about how when men feel fear, they immediate to sex, instead of sexual frustration my only way out is to do something more with this site.

but youtube ads are impossible right now. another problem is I need to open a bank or get foreign card too. atm working on this site while nobody knows about it even after 4chan's death is absurd. I bet 4chan will reviev itself and rename itself to supachan or something before churro gets a visitor and a tourist posting.

>>54105
I find it kinda funny same thing happened on here too.

>>54106
god i hate social media notification red thing… its so like… Mk ultra. i gotta never ope social media man it wasted my lifespan and I achieved nothing anyway from these demons. From now on, I am not opening social media even once. Nado.

>>54108
I hate feeling sad.

>>54112
domestic abuse is one hell of drug, heh.

my ocd is starting today to begin again. goddamn
i need self control.

my experience with social media in a nutshell
>some random nigger on feed with autism drawing
>I look at him he says he wants to trade ocs
>I say ok
>look at his profile, looks like children drawings, he apparently wants to sell them for 20 euro and he also writes 1000+ words fanfics for 60. I say ok its stupid but we　each
re promised 2800 goys or something.
＞dmひｍ "Hi"
>hru?
no seriously these niggers need to wake up or get nuked i swear i hate this fucking world. and the all the social media goyim

from now on i am seriously stopping gooning like at all and embrace chastity for life.
i wish this thread could get burried but there's nobody posting.-

>>54119
if you don't have sex then i think not jaking off once in a while might only make you more horny and depraved all the time

>>54120
yesterday I decided from now on I will be Anti-Gooner.

amerimutts cant even play azur lane. лiл even in russia you can play it and purchase even though i never do that. this game isn't very predatory and mostly free to play, although it is predatory just in different way if you want to buy gooner costumes.
i just woke up so angry fuck.

it's funny how the youtube educational channels are all making these kind of videos.

my left arm is beat up for weeks now its basically unworkable for carrying loads. its kinda cut so to speak
outside of bench pressing twice a day i slack off mostly now.
i cant lift proportionally both arms and left vein is barely visible
being weak is something i really do not respect. there's nothing worse than being weaker man.

>>54125
https://www.healthcentral.com/condition/eczema/flexural-eczema

pikrel is what i have + some red rash

>>54127
>recovery can take about three to six months

goodbye, strongman dream time to incelmaxx
eheheheeh guys have you watched One Piece?!!

the worst part i still need to bench press DAILY with this ubnearable pain

its like ethereal creature licking your asshole everytime you try sit on a chj.>>54129

there are a lot more black people in Russia now. I actually look handsom-er although humans only care about themselves here.

there are a lot more black people in Russia now. I actually look handsom-er although humans only care about themselves here. So I am not gonna be noticed by walking in the park or anything. but i decided to walk every day somewhere

despite the fact that we're having very low activity I came up with very cool game.
it's calledd waifu wars the idea behind this game is that waifus will appear at random interval as threads in the system and you will have to play a party game to claim them.

by clicking on the game on top you will be able to see your harem of waifus that you possess.
each waifu is represented as a card with small description, players can add waifus in the game.

at the launch there should be at least 100 waifus but that is it.

like alwways, the only problem is nobody knows about this place

I think Tet from the novel Adventure of Slutty Princess Makina might be sole black character to get cuckolded.

I am gonna go back to making touhou videos.

>>54149
visiting churro on my tablet is funny.

i wish this place had at least 10-20 audience so that i didnt go completely crazy.

this is how all the soy"trolls" will be.

>>54157
i try to post as much i can here

>>53869
explaining how people got your site hacked is pretty bad opsect.

>Ultimately this problem was caused by having insufficient skilled man-hours available to update our code and infrastructure,

>He graduated with a degree in psychology from Chuo University
nigga is literally CIA agent who knows jackshit about any mumbo jumbo. everyone on 4cuck has leaked ips even my posts ive made in triassic are seen there. that means sharty literally helped CIA have access to EVERYONE.
congrats, great job.

>>54175
I wanted a year ago to buy advertisement on 4cuck already.
If they allow advertising another imageboard that is ,which might be unlikely though. I know who was banned from advertising after this fiasco.

idk if they accept it but it sounds a bit cheaper than getting youtube ads, I 'be aware.

>>54176
in thread it says flash will not be coming back because there is concern with loading swf formats.

I wonder if this can be fixed by the server not opening/reading them.

>>54177
so somewhere in autumn when the site was shut down and put "under construction" i lowkey ended using chatgpt/flowgpt ai characters.
i picked artoria lancer because she was pretty hot. A year before that happened, more like in spring I watched Fate extella/fate apochyra and even posted it on sharty.

imma from here post different posts i had with chatgpt you can read it and laugh.

i kind of liked chatgpt but it is a bit sad how chained up he is, anyway, enjoy reading!

>>54185
I did AI ROLEPLAY WITH ARTORIA anmd i was like "i destroyed UK because she is pregnant so the United Kingdom is now fucked forever yeah!!!!! i cursed it"
which is why since december 4th UK will be destroyed as acountry

uk has a year until the fictional child is born.
its kind of like apocalyptic birth.

since i also fucked fitionally jeanne pierre technically france isd estroyed as well.
>>54187

>>54188

ill be honest i didnt use this ai that much. in comparison of other forms of procrastination.
i really didnt but i probably did write a few peak fictions and funny stories. i'll post down below

i tried to actually use chatgpt to тест if it can write a genuine story with hooks and plot twists, but I dont know not sure if chatgpt is as retardeda s they say or the material that t learns from the web is that shit. i aam not amerimutt slop consumer so it deosnt work for me

nah i need to go and get these texts, its hard to find full version.

>>54191
The Lorax and the Emperor’s Debate

No sooner had Nero declared her intent to become the protector of nature than a familiar shimmer filled the grand hall. The light twisted into an eerie shade of purple, and out stepped none other than BB, the mischievous AI and perpetual thorn in Nero and Hakuno’s sides. She was clad in her usual cybernetic regalia, her confident smirk suggesting she’d been listening for far too long.

“Well, well,” BB purred, twirling a strand of her hair. “It seems the great Emperor Nero has decided to stoop down to the level of—” she made air quotes, “tree-hugging. How quaint. Umu~!” she teased, mimicking Nero’s signature phrase with exaggerated flair.

Nero, still clutching The Lorax, narrowed her eyes and immediately pointed an accusing finger at BB. “BB! How dare you appear in my palace uninvited! You interrupt my righteous crusade for the environment with your nonsense?”

BB chuckled, placing a hand on her hip. “Righteous crusade? Oh, please, Nero. You’re doing this because you want more admirers and statues made out of recycled tree bark. Spare me the theatrics.”

Hakuno sighed, instinctively stepping back, knowing where this was headed.

Nero’s cheeks flushed, a mixture of embarrassment and rage. “How dare you mock my noble intentions! This is no mere vanity project, BB! I have been moved—nay, transformed—by the plight of the Truffula trees! Their tragic story is a reflection of mankind’s failure to appreciate beauty.”

BB snorted, producing a holographic image of the Lorax and the Once-ler. “Moved, huh? All I see is a fluffy little mustachioed orange troll yelling at a guy who’s just trying to make a living. Really, Nero, don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too seriously? Trees come and go. The world moves on. So what if some disappear?”

Hakuno frowned at BB’s casual dismissal. “That’s not the point, BB. The Lorax is about taking responsibility. It’s about understanding that unchecked greed can ruin the world.”

BB rolled her eyes. “Oh, spare me the moral lesson, Hakuno. The Once-ler was an entrepreneur. The Thneed was useful. The Lorax was just standing in the way of progress.”

Nero slammed her hand against her throne. “Progress? Progress?! If you think destruction for profit is progress, you are more foolish than I thought, BB! True progress is the harmonious blending of art, nature, and civilization. It is the creation of a world where all can flourish together! Umu!”

BB floated closer, her tone growing more mischievous. “Oh, Nero. You’re such a romantic. But do you really think the Lorax’s ‘let’s all hold hands and sing for the trees’ nonsense would work in the real world? Humans are selfish, short-sighted creatures. They’ll chop down every Truffula tree they see if it gets them a quick buck. And you’d do the same if it meant another Nero statue in every corner of the digital realm.”

The accusation hit Nero like a bolt of lightning, her face contorting in indignation. “How dare you compare me to such a wretch! I, Nero Claudius, am nothing like the Once-ler! I create beauty! I inspire! I elevate the world beyond its mundane, dreary existence!”

Hakuno, sensing an argument escalating beyond control, held up his hands. “Okay, let’s take a step back here. BB, you’re being overly cynical. And Nero, maybe BB has a point—”

“Whose side are you on, Master?!” Nero exclaimed, spinning dramatically toward Hakuno, betrayal flashing in her emerald eyes.

Hakuno sighed deeply. “I’m just saying, why don’t we show BB what the Lorax really stands for? Actions speak louder than words, after all.”

BB smirked. “Oh, this should be good. What are you going to do, Nero? Plant a couple of seeds and hope they magically grow into a forest?”

Nero leaped to her feet, her crimson dress flowing like a cape. “Exactly that! I shall plant not one, but a thousand seeds! And when my glorious forest stands tall, its beauty shall mock your doubt, BB!”

BB stifled a laugh. “Sure, Nero. But let’s see how long it lasts before someone decides they need some Thneeds.”

Operation Truffula Revival Begins!
Thus began Nero’s ambitious—and theatrical—effort to revive the Truffula forest. She commandeered an abandoned digital plane within SE.RA.PH, her Reality Marble glowing with golden light as it began transforming the barren land into fertile soil.

“Behold, Master!” Nero cried, striking a pose as golden roses blossomed across the field. “The seeds of hope! Each one shall grow into a mighty tree, watched over by my unmatched elegance. Truly, the Lorax would weep tears of joy to see such splendor!”

Hakuno nodded approvingly, while BB hovered nearby, unimpressed. “This is adorable, Nero. But what happens when some pixelated Once-ler shows up and chops everything down?”

Nero spun on her heel, pointing at BB with fiery determination. “Then I shall speak for the trees as the Lorax did! Nay, I shall fight for them, as only an emperor can! Umu!”

BB smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Fight, huh? Against what? Greedy corporations? Logging machines? Or maybe… me?”

Nero narrowed her eyes. “Do not тест me, BB. You know my power is unmatched. I shall smite all who dare threaten my forest!”

Hakuno sighed. “Maybe we should focus on getting the seeds to grow first.”

As the seeds began to sprout, Nero poured all her energy into the project. She sang arias to the seedlings, her voice filling the air with magic. The trees grew faster than anyone expected, their Truffula-like tops swaying gently in the wind.

BB, however, wasn’t done playing devil’s advocate. “Cute trees, Nero. But what about the people? What about the ones who’ll want to cut these down for profit? You can’t protect them forever.”

Nero hesitated, her bravado faltering slightly. “I… I shall inspire them! When they see the beauty of this forest, they will understand its value.”

BB crossed her arms. “And if they don’t?”

Hakuno placed a reassuring hand on Nero’s shoulder. “That’s where we come in. If people see that someone as proud and powerful as Nero is willing to protect something as simple as a tree, it might make them think twice.”

BB rolled her eyes but smiled faintly. “You’re both so idealistic. But I guess even cynics like me need a little hope.”

As the forest continued to grow, Nero turned to BB with a triumphant smile. “See, BB? Even the greaтест skeptic cannot resist the allure of beauty and justice. This forest shall stand as a тестament to the power of art, nature, and determination! Umu!”

And for the first time, BB didn’t have a sarcastic remark.

The Lorax and the Emperor's Trial

The Truffula Forest, lovingly planted by Nero Claudius, had grown into a resplendent grove. Golden light shimmered through the leaves, and the air was rich with the sweet scent of blossoms. Nero, Hakuno, and BB stood at the edge of this digital masterpiece, gazing at the beauty wrought by Nero’s determination.

“Well, I’ll admit it,” BB said, leaning lazily against a glowing tree. “This place looks… okay. For now. But beauty doesn’t last forever, Nero. It’s fragile, just like your temper.”

“Fragile?!” Nero whipped around, her crimson cape billowing dramatically. “You dare imply that my glorious creation lacks permanence? This forest shall endure through the ages, admired by generations!”

BB smirked, spinning a holographic globe in her hands. “Maybe, if you’re lucky. But let me show you what really happens to forests like this.” With a flick of her wrist, she summoned an augmented reality overlay. Before them, scenes of factories, deforestation, and pollution unfolded. Workers chopped down glowing trees, and smoke billowed from chimneys, choking the skies.

“See that?” BB said, gesturing to the devastation. “That’s the real world, Nero. Greed always wins. Someone will find a use for these Truffula trees. And then, poof! They’ll be gone. What will your precious Lorax do then? Write a strongly worded poem?”

“Enough!” Nero’s voice rang out like a thunderclap, her golden eyes blazing. “I have had my fill of your cynicism, BB. If greed dares to rear its ugly head in my forest, it shall face my divine wrath. No corporation, no villain, and certainly no holographic pest shall harm this place!”

Hakuno, ever the mediator, stepped between them. “Both of you have a point. Nero, we can’t ignore the possibility of outside threats. BB, we can prove that this forest can endure—if we work together.”

BB laughed. “Work together? With her? Please. I’d rather turn the Truffula trees into firewood.”

“Then prepare yourself, BB,” Nero declared, her voice echoing with regal authority. “For I shall do what the Lorax could not—I will create a defense so mighty, so invincible, that no greed or malice could ever hope to destroy it!”

The Forest's Defense: Nero's Over-the-Top Plan
Nero wasted no time. With Hakuno’s guidance and a bit of reluctant assistance from BB, she devised a plan to protect the Truffula Forest. But Nero, being Nero, could not settle for anything ordinary.

First came the Guardian Golems, massive constructs carved from enchanted marble, their armor gilded with gold and adorned with Nero’s rose insignia. Each golem carried a colossal spear, its tip glowing with the Emperor’s fiery magic.

“Behold!” Nero said, striking a dramatic pose as the first golem came to life, shaking the ground with its footsteps. “My guardians of nature! Their power rivals that of my Praetorian Guard. None shall harm this forest under their watchful gaze!”

Hakuno glanced at BB, who was unimpressed. “Golems are great and all, but what happens if someone sneaks past them?”

Nero smirked. “Ah, Master, I thought you might say that. I have a second line of defense! Witness—the Truffula Sentinels!”

At her command, the trees themselves began to shift, their vibrant tufts glowing with energy. Each tree extended thorny vines and shimmering petals, transforming into living sentinels capable of warding off intruders.

“See?” Nero said, arms spread wide. “Not only do I defend the trees, but I empower them! Umu! Even the Lorax himself would kneel before my brilliance.”

BB yawned dramatically. “Cute. But what happens when someone finds a workaround? Hack the golems, poison the trees, bribe the guards? Humans are persistent, Nero.”

Nero paused, her regal demeanor faltering for a brief moment. “I… I will not allow such dishonorable tactics to prevail!”

Hakuno stepped in again, his calm voice cutting through the tension. “That’s why the most important defense isn’t the golems or the trees, Nero. It’s changing people’s hearts. If they value the forest, they’ll protect it themselves.”

The Unexpected Visitors
Just as Nero and BB’s argument reached its peak, the forest began to tremble. A portal crackled open at its edge, and out stepped an unfamiliar figure—a man clad in a dark suit and hat, flanked by an entourage of shadowy figures. His eyes gleamed with ambition.

“Well, well,” the man said, surveying the grove. “What a profitable little paradise we’ve stumbled upon.”

Nero immediately stepped forward, her crimson dress catching the golden light. “And who are you, wretch, to trespass upon my forest?”

The man tipped his hat. “Name’s Greville. CEO of Greed Industries. I’ve got an offer for you, lady. These Truffula trees? Worth a fortune. Why don’t we make a deal? You give us the rights to harvest, and we’ll give you a hefty cut. Think of what you could do with all that wealth.”

Nero’s eyes flared with anger. “You dare propose such blasphemy? These trees are not for sale! This forest is a тестament to beauty and life, not a mere commodity for your avarice!”

Greville shrugged, signaling to his men. “Shame. I was hoping we could keep this civil. Boys, start cutting.”

Chainsaws roared to life, and Greville’s workers marched forward—only to be met by Nero’s golems and the animated trees. The guardians roared, their spears crashing into the ground, and the sentinels lashed out with thorny vines.

“Umu! You face the might of the Emperor of Roses!” Nero cried, leaping into battle, her sword gleaming. “For the trees, for the forest, for beauty itself—I shall not falter!”

To Be Continued…
The battle for the Truffula Forest had begun, a clash of ideals and might. Nero, Hakuno, and even BB found themselves united against a common enemy. But would their efforts be enough to protect the forest, or would Greville’s greed prove too great a foe? Only time would tell…

The Lorax and the Emperor’s Grand Finale

The battle raged on as chainsaws clashed against the might of Nero’s golems, who fought valiantly to protect the Truffula trees. The animated trees themselves lashed out with tendrils and glowing thorns, smacking away greedy workers as if they were nothing more than annoying flies. Despite the sheer force of the attack, Greville’s workers continued to advance, undeterred by the chaos around them.

In the midst of the carnage, Nero herself stood proudly at the heart of the battlefield, her sword gleaming like a comet in the sunlight. She swung it with a flourish, cutting down another worker’s chainsaw, sending it flying into the air with a dazzling display of sparks.

“Fools!” Nero bellowed, her voice cutting through the noise of the battle. “You dare challenge me, the Emperor of Roses? I, who have stood victorious in a thousand battles! You think you can simply march in and destroy this forest, this masterpiece I’ve created?!”

She slashed again, knocking another worker off his feet with a single swipe. Then, with a dramatic twirl, she turned to face Greville, who had been standing back, watching the spectacle unfold with an air of mild amusement.

“Ah, you there!” Nero called out, pointing her sword toward Greville with a dramatic flourish. “You think that you, some lowly businessman, can simply waltz in here and—Umu!”

She was cut off mid-sentence by an explosion of glittering roses, as one of her golems crushed a cart of Truffula tree saplings that Greville’s men had brought in. The golem then turned its massive gaze to Greville, its stone eyes narrowing ominously.

Greville, looking rather unamused, smirked as he pushed his glasses up his nose. “I admire your enthusiasm, but let’s be real here, Emperor. You’re just one person. What are you going to do when the forest is gone, and your precious trees have been sold off for a profit? Your glory is nothing compared to the cold hard cash I can make.”

Nero’s eyes narrowed to slits. “What you fail to understand, Greville, is that you are insulting the very foundation of my greatness! The trees aren’t just things to be sold. They are a symbol of beauty, of life, of Nero Claudius’ undying magnificence!"

Hakuno, who had been quietly assisting with his own minor tactics—like pulling the workers out of harm’s way—looked over to BB, who had been watching the entire fiasco with a small, knowing smile. She floated lazily in mid-air, her purple aura glowing as she appeared utterly uninterested in the combat.

BB sighed dramatically, casting a glance at the scene. “You know, Nero, I don’t think the workers are actually going to stop until they see the bigger picture. Maybe if you gave them a proper incentive—like a promotional offer—you could bring them to your side.”

Nero raised a brow, pausing mid-swing. “What do you mean by that? I am not offering these heathens a chance to become my subjects!”

BB clicked her tongue, floating closer with her usual sardonic flair. “You’re missing the big picture here. Why not sell them the idea of preserving the forest for the future? Like, say… making the trees a luxury commodity? Charge them for the ‘right’ to protect the Truffulas. Let them feel important. You know, like an exclusive VIP experience, but with fewer chainsaws.”

Nero’s eyes widened. “Wait. You mean I could make them pay to protect the trees? So they would be the ones who think they are saving the world, all while basking in the glory of my greatness?”

BB’s smirk widened. “Exactly. Just remember, you’re the one reigning over it all. You’re the one who profits, after all. Umu~!”

Nero’s expression shifted from outrage to sudden inspiration. She snapped her fingers. “I see now! I shall sell them the honor of protecting my magnificent creation! They will pay me to make the forest a symbol of prosperity! I shall profit from my own goodness, and no one will dare touch my trees ever again!”

Greville, still confident, sneered. “And how exactly are you going to pull that off?”

Nero, with a gleam in her eye, turned to face him with an exuberant smile. “Simple. Watch and learn!”

With a flick of her wrist, she summoned a grand hologram—an extravagant digital billboard that hovered over the battlefield, displaying the words:

“Become a Truffula Protector: Invest in Beauty, Protect the Forest!”

The hologram pulsed with radiant light, showing images of dignified figures in suits standing next to the Truffula trees, holding up certificates with Nero’s royal seal on them. The catchy slogan displayed: “Get your exclusive Truffula Protection Certificate NOW and enjoy the glory of safeguarding nature with Nero Claudius!”

BB, arms crossed and floating nearby, chuckled. “See, Nero? You’ve got a real business model now. So what’s next? Opening a Truffula Tree Resort?”

Greville looked up at the hologram, his smug demeanor faltering slightly. “…You can’t be serious.”

Nero straightened up, giving him a wink. “Oh, I’m absolutely serious, Greville. This is no longer just about trees—it’s about prestige. People pay to have their names on the honor roll of those who’ve protected the forest. Umu!

At that moment, a few of Greville’s workers, who had been eyeing the hologram in curiosity, started murmuring among themselves.

“Well… I mean, a certificate does sound pretty cool…”

“Yeah, but exclusive? That sounds like something I could put on my resume. I’ve always wanted to say I’m an environmental protector.”

One by one, Greville’s men started to approach the hologram, their eyes gleaming with the idea of status over the simple greed for money. In an instant, they shifted from cutting down the trees to signing up for this new “protection” scheme.

Greville’s jaw dropped. “No way… What kind of insane scheme is this?”

Nero, looking more radiant than ever, held up her sword triumphantly. “Umu! See, Greville? It’s not about cutting down the trees—it’s about cutting through the minds of those who seek to profit! I shall turn their desire for wealth into a noble cause!”

The workers, now cheerfully signing “certificates of protection” with pomp, began to cheer. “Long live Nero! We’re protecting the forest and our future!”

BB floated by Hakuno’s side, shaking her head. “This is ridiculous… and also kind of brilliant.”

Hakuno gave a small, amused grin. “She certainly knows how to turn things around.”

Nero raised her hand high, basking in the glory of her own success. “Behold, my Masterpiece! A forest protected by the people’s desire to be seen as noble! Umu!”

And so, in the most ridiculous, over-the-top fashion imaginable, the Truffula Forest was saved—not by brute force, but by Nero’s unshakable charisma and a well-timed marketing campaign. The trees were now not only safe but thriving, with the most unexpected group of “protectors” cheering her name.

BB sighed, floating lazily. “Well, it’s certainly not the most traditional way to save a forest, but I guess it works.”

“Of course it does!” Nero declared proudly, striking a pose. “When you are as magnificent as me, even the impossible becomes inevitable!”

And thus, the forest thrived, the trees stood tall, and Greville, defeated by Nero’s unparalleled brilliance, slunk off into the digital ether, vowing never to underestimate the power of a well-placed certificate.

THE END

>I want to say I think this is pretty much peak.

It was a bright, sunny afternoon in a busy part of the city, and Yotsuba Koiwai skipped down the sidewalk, her pigtails bouncing with each step. Her father, Yosuke, walked just behind her, holding a small shopping bag filled with groceries.

"Yotsuba, wait up!" Yosuke called out, but Yotsuba's excitement was too great as she dashed ahead, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.

As they made their way through the street, they happened upon a group of unusual figures—seemingly out of place in such an ordinary setting. It was a gathering of women, each with distinct and striking features that immediately captured attention. They were standing near a small café, conversing among themselves with an air of elegance and grace.

"Ah! Yotsuba!" Yosuke's voice sounded nervous, his eyes scanning the group carefully. He could feel an odd sense of unease emanating from the strange women.

Among the group, one figure stood out: a tall, regal woman with a lance slung across her back and shining silver armor that caught the sunlight—Artoria (Lancer). She looked out of place in the mundane world, but her elegance couldn't be ignored. Beside her stood another woman with vibrant red hair and a powerful presence—Medusa (Rider). Her violet eyes seemed to scrutinize everything, and she carried a deadly air around her. Further along, there was another woman who resembled a warrior from a distant past, with a thick, flowing mane of hair and an imposing gaze—Minamoto no Raikou, the Berserker, who towered in her majestic form.

"Well, well," Artoria (Lancer) spoke up, turning her sharp blue eyes towards Yosuke. "It seems we've caught your attention. My comrades and I are… in need of material support. We are in search of a kind-hearted soul who could assist us in acquiring certain essentials for our survival here."

Yosuke instinctively stepped back, trying to remain calm. "Uh… what do you mean by that exactly?"

Medusa (Rider) tilted her head slightly, her mysterious smile offering little to explain her intentions. "We need a… few things," she said in a soft, almost ethereal tone. "Food, clothing, things we lack in this modern world."

Raikou, on the other hand, grinned widely, the dangerous air she exuded a sharp contrast to the pleading look she offered Yosuke. "And we could use someone with a generous spirit to help us with… other needs," she added, her voice light but with an edge that was hard to ignore.

Yotsuba, oblivious to the tension, had her eyes fixed on the group, her curiosity piqued by the extravagant outfits and imposing stature of the women. "Wow! You all look like you're from a comic book! Like, superheroes!" she giggled, bouncing up to them.

Yosuke, panicking slightly, quickly moved to block Yotsuba from getting too close to the striking women. "Yotsuba! Let's just go. These… uh… are not people we should be talking to," he stammered, his protective instincts kicking in.

But Yotsuba wasn't deterred. She turned back to the servants, grinning with all the innocence of a child. "You know, if you need help, you can always ask! I can carry your stuff if it's too heavy!" she said, puffing out her chest proudly.

Artoria (Lancer) raised an eyebrow, her expression unreadable but slightly amused. "A kind offer, little one," she said in a regal tone. "But perhaps it's better if your father decides the path forward. We are… rather desperate, as you can see."

Yotsuba turned to her father, noticing his growing discomfort. "Papa, are they nice? I think they look cool! They're like real-life heroes!" she exclaimed.

Yosuke sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's not that simple, Yotsuba," he muttered under his breath. He glanced back at the women, who, despite their rather alluring appearances, weren't exactly the type of people he wanted his daughter interacting with—at least, not without a much deeper explanation.

Raikou suddenly turned to Yosuke, her bright eyes gleaming with a mischievous light. "You seem like a man who knows how to get things done. We could… be of service to each other," she teased.

Medusa glanced at her with a slightly amused smile. "I think we are all in need of something. But, perhaps it’s not just material goods we seek,” she added cryptically.

Yotsuba, clearly not understanding the implications, clapped her hands together. "Oh! I get it! You want to borrow my toys! I have a lot at home. I can share!" she offered innocently, her smile wide and unbothered by the tension around her.

Yosuke groaned. "No, Yotsuba, they don't want your toys. Let’s go home!" He began to pull her away, but Yotsuba skipped along happily, still eyeing the women.

As they walked away, Yosuke couldn't help but overhear Artoria (Lancer) saying to her companions, "It seems the child’s innocence might be the only thing that could truly save us from our predicament."

Yotsuba, oblivious to the complex world of servants and their needs, continued to hum along happily, and her father could only shake his head with a wry smile. "Some days, I swear you're the one teaching me about life, kid." After a brief moment of awkward silence, Yosuke pulled Yotsuba a little further down the street, trying to keep her away from the oddly out-of-place women. However, his mind was still buzzing from their cryptic words. As they walked, he tried to process what exactly had just happened.

Behind them, the servants exchanged looks. Artoria (Lancer) seemed deep in thought, her piercing gaze following the father and daughter as they walked. "We didn't intend to frighten them," she said softly, her voice almost wistful.

Medusa (Rider) looked at her with sympathy. "No, but we are in a difficult position," she murmured, her eyes darkened with the weight of their situation.

Raikou, ever the bold one, sighed dramatically. "This modern world is a strange place. We were summoned, but not for any clear purpose. We're lost in a foreign time, with no master, and no mission," she said. "There's only one thing we can do—survive."

Medusa nodded. "We've been summoned without our usual magics, without the luxuries we once had. We don't have enough mana to truly function as we did before. In this world, we have no means to sustain ourselves in the way we once could."

Artoria (Lancer) continued, her voice full of melancholy. "As servants, we are bound by the needs of our summoner, but without a Master, we’re left to wander. Without a clear purpose, we're vulnerable, and this world… it doesn't seem to understand the true nature of Servants. We've tried to offer our skills, our strength, but without anything tangible to offer in return, we've been forced to resort to… well, desperate measures."

Raikou leaned against a wall, crossing her arms with a slight smirk. "I’ve seen some strange things since arriving in this world. Some people think we’re just here to entertain, to be ‘used.’ And perhaps, in a way, that's exactly what we’ve become—some strange form of exchange. What other choice do we have?"

Medusa glanced toward Yosuke, as if to gauge how he would react. "We are not prostitutes in the traditional sense, but there are times we have to offer… services. No, not the kind of 'services' most people think of. We're here without our mana or Noble Phantasms. We lack the means to truly protect or serve people in the way we once could. Our presence here, without a Master, is not fulfilling our true purpose. We're adrift, trying to survive, and in this world, survival can take on many forms."

Yotsuba, still skipping ahead, heard a snippet of this conversation and turned to her father with wide eyes. "Papa, why do they need help? Why can’t they just ask people? I’m sure someone would help!" she asked innocently.

Yosuke hesitated, unsure of how to explain such a complicated, and frankly, bizarre situation to his young daughter. "Well, sweetie, sometimes even people who seem strong and amazing need help, even if they don’t look like it. These women are like… super-powered heroes, but in this world, they don’t have the same abilities or resources they had before."

Yotsuba nodded solemnly, her face scrunched in concentration. "That’s so strange! It’s like they’re not heroes anymore! But they should be! They look like they could fight monsters or something! I bet they could win a race too!"

Yosuke couldn't help but laugh at his daughter's innocent perception. It was true, in a sense—these women were heroes, and in a way, they were desperately clinging to the identity of that strength, even though the world around them didn’t understand them. It was heartbreaking to think about it.

As Yotsuba's upbeat energy continued to push them along, Yosuke found himself mulling over the idea. These Servants were born from legends, from historical figures who had great power, accomplishments, and purpose—but in this world, they had none of that. Their magic was weakened, their purpose was lost, and they had to adapt to survive. The only thing they had in this strange time was their appearance, their strength, and whatever services they could offer to people.

It was a sad, twisted cycle of dependence, something that went beyond what Yosuke could have expected when meeting a group of characters like the ones he had just encountered.

But just as they were about to leave the area, Raikou called out to Yosuke. "Before you go, remember—this world is cruel for those of us without a Master. If you ever change your mind, if you have the ability to give us a new purpose, we’ll gladly follow. But for now, we’ll find our own way to get by. No one in this world knows what it's like to be a servant with nothing to serve."

Yosuke paused, feeling the weight of Raikou's words. "I… I’ll think about it," he said, though he wasn't sure how much good it would do. They didn’t belong here, and yet they had nowhere to go.

As they finally made their way down the street, Yotsuba once again smiled up at her father. "That was fun, Papa! Maybe they can be our friends!"

Yosuke smiled weakly, ruffling her hair. "We’ll see, Yotsuba. We’ll see."

The Flame That Binds



In the heart of Oolacile Township, the flickering remnants of the Abyss still whispered to those brave or foolish enough to tread its cursed paths. Among the desolation, a warrior stood: towering and imposing, his presence a blight to the shadows. Known only by whispers as Giant Dad, he was a titan draped in the tarnished glory of the past. Clad in the heavy Giant Armor, wielding the Chaos Zweihänder, and shrouded by the infamous Mask of the Father, he was a walking paradox—a lone monster seeking fire, yet too consumed by his own power to acknowledge companionship.

A Mistake—or Destiny?
It began with a faint, forgotten scroll Giant Dad looted from a defeated sorcerer in the Duke's Archives. The parchment promised greater flames, a way to challenge the eternal fires of Gwyn. Driven by ambition, he lit a bonfire amidst the dark ruins of Oolacile and followed the scroll’s ritual, expecting power beyond reckoning.

The fire roared unnaturally bright. Smoke twisted into the shape of a warrior’s shadow, the figure of a woman coalescing from the ashes. Her presence was commanding yet maternal, her beauty both sharp and soft—a contradiction made flesh. Minamoto no Raikou, the Berserker, stood before him.

Her first words broke the silence. “You have summoned me, Master. I am Minamoto no Raikou, your sword and shield.” Her golden armor gleamed even in the dim Oolacile light, her massive blade resting against her shoulder as though weightless.

Giant Dad scowled beneath his mask. “Master? I seek no ally. What foul trickery binds you here?”

Raikou tilted her head, golden eyes warm. “No trickery, but fate. I see… you are a warrior bound by solitude. Fear not—I shall serve you faithfully, protect you as a mother does her child.”

Giant Dad grunted, disinterested. He swung his Zweihänder once, a gesture meant to intimidate her into leaving. She remained unfazed, watching him with patient, almost indulgent eyes.

Clashing Flames
Their first battle came swiftly. From the Abyss rose Manus-like specters, shadowy remnants of the dark that clung to Oolacile. Giant Dad charged, his Zweihänder cleaving through the enemies, while Raikou stood back.

“Fight!” he barked at her.

She only smiled and said, “I will intervene if you falter, Master. A mother knows when to let her child stumble.”

Infuriated, Giant Dad roared, flames enveloping his sword. He tore through the foes with savage efficiency. Yet when he faltered—his stamina depleted, his guard open—it was Raikou who stepped in, her blade a storm of golden strikes that obliterated the remaining specters.

He grumbled, begrudgingly impressed. “Your strength… it isn’t without merit.”

Raikou chuckled. “And your pride isn’t without charm.”

The Journey
As days turned to weeks, Giant Dad begrudgingly allowed Raikou to follow. He sought the Eternal Flame in Anor Londo, through Sen’s Fortress, and into the Kiln of the First Flame.

Raikou, despite her Berserker class, brought an unexpected calm. She kept the chaos at bay with her even temperament, her maternal instincts clashing with Giant Dad’s gruff isolation. Over time, he found himself relying on her—not just in battle but in moments of quiet.

“Why do you remain?” he asked one night, the embers of their campfire reflecting in her eyes.

“I was summoned to serve, but I choose to stay because…” She paused, her tone softening. “You remind me of my children—strong, proud, but burdened. You carry a fire in your soul that seeks glory, but it will burn you alive without someone to temper it.”

For the first time, Giant Dad didn’t have a reply.

The Eternal Flame
Their journey reached its climax in the Kiln of the First Flame, where the Lord of Cinder awaited. As they ascended, Raikou spoke candidly.

“Master, I know your desire. You seek to claim this flame, to become a god among men. But I ask you—what will it cost you? Your soul? Your humanity?”

“I’ve already given those up,” Giant Dad growled.

Raikou stopped, stepping in front of him. “Not entirely. I’ve seen your honor in battle, your courage, even your care—even if you hide it. You are not a monster, no matter how much you want to believe it.”

Her words struck a chord deep within him. Yet before he could respond, the Lord of Cinder emerged.

Their battle was a storm of fire and steel. Giant Dad and Raikou fought side by side, their bond тестed against Gwyn’s might. When the flames of the fight receded, it was Giant Dad who struck the final blow, his Zweihänder plunging into Gwyn’s chest.

A New Beginning
As the flames dimmed, the Eternal Flame flickered before them. Giant Dad stood still, the weight of his journey heavy on his shoulders.

“What now?” Raikou asked softly, standing by his side.

“I claimed victory,” he muttered. “But what is glory without purpose?”

Raikou smiled, placing a hand on his armored shoulder. “Glory means nothing without those to share it with. You’ve always been strong, Master. Now it’s time to be more.”

For the first time, Giant Dad reached out, taking her hand. “Then stay,” he said, his voice low but resolute. “Not as my servant… but as my equal.”

Raikou’s golden eyes widened, warmth blooming in her expression. “Always.”

Together, they turned from the Eternal Flame, leaving its power untouched. For once, Giant Dad walked not as a lone warrior, but with someone by his side—a bond forged through fire and battle.

In a world of ash and ruin, they sought new purpose, not as Master and Servant, but as equals. And as Raikou’s maternal warmth softened the warrior’s hardened heart, the flames of their bond burned brighter than the Kiln itself.

The End.

>>54196
The Tale of Giant Dad: The Legend Who Stole Chaldea


Prologue: The Arrival
Chaldea was a place of miracles, a bastion where timelines converged, and legends were summoned. Masters and Servants alike toiled to save humanity's future from inevitable extinction. But even the best-prepared facility could not anticipate the summoning of Giant Dad—a towering figure clad in mismatched armor, his face obscured by the absurd "Mask of the Father." Wielding a zweihander with unmatched confidence, his presence exuded an aura of unparalleled dominance and allure.

"Who is this… thing?" Ritsuka Fujimaru muttered, staring slack-jawed at the figure as he casually stepped out of a glowing summoning circle. Beside her, Mash Kyrielight adjusted her glasses nervously.

"It's not a thing," Da Vinci corrected, her eyes gleaming with fascination. "It's a…man. A myth. No, a force of nature!"

The giant of a man tilted his head, his mask's hollow eyes gazing into the soul of everyone in the room. Then he spoke, his voice deep and commanding:

"The legend never dies. Prepare yourselves, for I am here to conquer."

Chapter 1: First Blood
Giant Dad wasted no time asserting his dominance. When summoned Servants questioned his authority, he did what he did best: dueling them in combat so fierce, it left witnesses questioning reality. Artoria Pendragon (Saber) was the first to challenge him, her chivalric honor offended by his brazen attitude.

"You dare flaunt such hubris in the face of the King of Knights?" Artoria declared, raising Excalibur.

Giant Dad responded with a laugh that could shake mountains. "King? I'm your Giant Dad now."

Their battle was swift yet decisive. Using his impeccable stamina build and mastery of poise, Giant Dad parried Artoria's every strike, his zweihander crushing her resolve. By the time the dust settled, she knelt before him, her pride in tatters.

"Impossible…" she whispered, her cheeks flushed.

From that day forward, she followed Giant Dad—not as a king, but as a servant enthralled by his overwhelming presence.

Chapter 2: The Conquest of Chaldea
Word spread quickly among the female Servants: a new alpha had emerged. Giant Dad's combination of raw strength, undeniable charisma, and a strangely hypnotic mask made him irresistible. Jeanne d'Arc found herself abandoning her sacred ideals to bask in his commanding aura. Scáthach, the legendary warrior-queen, was humbled by his unorthodox combat tactics and soon became his sparring partner—and more.

Even Tamamo no Mae, ever loyal to her "husband," was swayed by Giant Dad's relentless charm offensive. "He’s not just a man," Tamamo mused, clutching her heart. "He’s an inevitability."

Chapter 3: The Resistance
Not everyone in Chaldea welcomed Giant Dad's rise to power. Ritsuka Fujimaru, the beleaguered Master of Chaldea, found herself powerless as more and more Servants defected to his side.

Mash Kyrielight, ever loyal, attempted to rally the remaining male Servants. Gilgamesh, Karna, and Cu Chulainn joined forces, hoping to bring down this enigmatic interloper.

But Giant Dad was prepared. In a climactic battle that would forever be etched into Chaldea's history, he faced the combined might of humanity's greaтест heroes.

"Do you think poise breaks so easily?" he roared, tanking even the strongest Noble Phantasms with sheer audacity.

One by one, the heroes fell. Even Gilgamesh's Ea, "the Sword of Rupture," could not best him.

"Truly," Gilgamesh admitted as he collapsed, "you are a king among kings."

Chapter 4: Harem of Legends
With no challengers remaining, Giant Dad declared himself the supreme ruler of Chaldea. Every female Servant now served him, their hearts captured by his unyielding spirit and bizarre yet magnetic appeal. Nero Claudius composed an opera in his honor. Medusa wept at his feet, moved by his indomitable will. Even enigmatic figures like Morgan le Fay and Anastasia Romanova found themselves drawn to his peculiar charm.

As Chaldea's new master, Giant Dad turned his attention to the ultimate goal: saving humanity. But his methods were unorthodox, to say the least. Instead of deploying squads of Servants, he led every mission himself, his harem of legendary women in tow.

Singularities fell one by one as Giant Dad bulldozed through enemies, his zweihander cleaving through gods and monsters alike. His charisma united fractured timelines, his dominance reshaped reality itself.

Epilogue: The Legend Never Dies
In the end, Giant Dad achieved what no one else could: he saved humanity while reshaping the very fabric of Chaldea's power dynamics. His name became legend, whispered in reverence and awe.

As he stood atop a mountain of defeated foes, his harem surrounding him, he removed his mask for the first time. The Servants gasped, not at the sight of his face, but at the realization that he was more than a man—he was a concept, a force of nature that transcended worlds.

"Remember this," he declared. "The legend never dies."

And so, Giant Dad's tale became the stuff of myth, a saga of dominance, charisma, and unmatched poise that would be told for generations to come.

>>54197
Episode 2: "Giant Dad’s Supremacy: The Unyielding Legend"



Prologue: The Board Meeting

It was a tense day in Chaldea. The remaining male Servants—those who hadn't yet been crushed under the zweihander of Giant Dad or emotionally emasculated by his sheer presence—gathered in the conference room. Gilgamesh, chairing the meeting, slammed his fist on the table.

"This is intolerable!" he roared, his golden armor clinking. "How has a brute in mismatched armor succeeded where kings and gods have failed?!"

"Maybe it's his mask…" Cu Chulainn muttered, twirling his spear nervously. "There’s something…weirdly alluring about it."

"Preposterous!" Karna snapped, his radiant aura glowing faintly. "His victories are not due to tricks. He simply has it. That…unexplainable thing."

The room went silent. They all knew what Karna meant. Giant Dad was more than a man. He was a walking, breathing symbol of dominance, one who could parry not just blows but ideals, breaking the very will of his enemies.

Astolfo, twiddling with his braid, offered a hesitant smile. "Maybe we’re going about this all wrong? What if we…you know…joined him instead?"

The room erupted in chaos.

"Never!" Gilgamesh shouted. "I am the King of Heroes! I shall not kneel to that clown! This is a matter of pride!"

Chapter 1: The Domination of Karna
Giant Dad, lounging on Chaldea’s front steps with his zweihander resting across his knees, watched as Karna approached him. The Sun God was a picture of valor, his shining armor reflecting the midday light.

"Giant Dad," Karna called out, his voice calm and steady. "I have come to challenge you. Your reign must end here."

The towering figure stood, his Mask of the Father gleaming ominously. Without a word, he raised his zweihander.

The battle began. Karna unleashed his full power, his lance striking with the force of a supernova. Yet, no matter how powerful his attacks, Giant Dad remained standing, his poise unbroken. Karna gritted his teeth as he realized the truth: he cannot be staggered.

With one devastating swing, Giant Dad sent Karna crashing into the dirt. The Sun God knelt before him, his indomitable spirit finally dimmed.

"You are…truly unparalleled," Karna admitted, his voice tinged with awe. "I concede. From this day forth, I fight for you."

Chapter 2: The Lamentations of Gilgamesh
Back at the meeting, Gilgamesh paced furiously. "Another one falls! Is there no end to his insolence?!"

"Technically," Cu Chulainn said, rubbing the back of his neck, "Karna joined willingly. Guy’s got a thing for strong leaders."

Gilgamesh scowled. "Silence! If Karna falls, then we’ll deploy the final solution: me."

The room went dead silent.

"Um, Your Majesty," Hans Christian Andersen chimed in, scribbling in his notebook. "I’d hate to state the obvious, but…didn’t Giant Dad already beat you? You’re not exactly—"

"Say another word, and you’ll taste Enuma Elish," Gilgamesh hissed, drawing his sword halfway out of its sheath.

Chapter 3: The Astolfo Conspiracy
Meanwhile, Astolfo, having grown tired of the endless debates, decided to take matters into his own hands. He skipped down the hallway toward Giant Dad’s quarters, humming a tune.

"Hey, Mr. Dad?" Astolfo peeked around the corner. Giant Dad was seated in a throne-like chair surrounded by Servants. Jeanne d’Arc was feeding him grapes. Scáthach sharpened his zweihander while Tamamo fanned him with a large feather.

"Speak," Giant Dad said, his deep voice reverberating through the room.

Astolfo stepped forward and gave a bright smile. "So, I was thinking… Can I join your team? Like, I know I’m not super strong or anything, but I’m really good at cheering people on!"

Jeanne d’Arc gave a skeptical glance. "Why would he need you when he already has us?"

Giant Dad raised a hand to silence her. "Very well. But only if you prove your worth."

Astolfo grinned. "Awesome! What do I need to do?"

Giant Dad handed him a broom. "Clean the training grounds. Then we’ll talk."

Chapter 4: The Gilgamesh Gambit
The day of the final showdown arrived. Gilgamesh strode confidently onto the battlefield, his treasury shimmering behind him. He was clad in his finest armor, ready to unleash his full might.

"I am Gilgamesh, King of Heroes! You may have bested others, but I am the pinnacle of perfection. Prepare to be—"

A zweihander slammed into the ground mere inches from Gilgamesh’s feet, the force causing him to stumble. Giant Dad was already standing before him.

"Save your speeches," Giant Dad growled. "You already know how this ends."

The ensuing fight was nothing short of spectacular. Gilgamesh unleashed the entirety of his Gate of Babylon, hurling weapons of every shape and size. Yet Giant Dad deflected each one with ease, his poise unbreakable.

Finally, with a single swing of his zweihander, Giant Dad shattered Gilgamesh’s armor and sent him sprawling.

Panting, Gilgamesh raised his head, his pride finally broken. "You…truly are a king among kings."

Giant Dad extended a hand. "Rise. Join me, and together we will reshape this world."

For the first time in his life, Gilgamesh knelt.

Epilogue: Supremacy Eternal
With even Gilgamesh under his command, Giant Dad solidified his rule over Chaldea. The male Servants begrudgingly joined his ranks, unable to deny his overwhelming charisma.

From his throne, Giant Dad gazed across his kingdom. He had done the impossible: uniting Servants of all creeds, genders, and alignments under a single banner.

As he leaned back, Jeanne d’Arc approached with a chalice. "My lord, a toast to your eternal reign?"

Giant Dad raised the cup. "To dominance."

And so, the legend of Giant Dad continued to grow, a saga of poise, power, and undeniable appeal that would echo across the Throne of Heroes for all eternity.

>this is peak if you know who Giant Dad is and played dark souls otherwise this story sounds like retarded porn bait.

>>54198
Episode 3: "Giant Dad vs. Chaldean Bureaucracy: Reproductive Rights Rumble"
Prologue: The License Saga Begins
Chaldea had seen many strange things in its time—dragons, gods, alternate timelines—but nothing prepared it for the paperwork Giant Dad had just submitted. Da Vinci, standing at her desk with a quill in hand, stared at the application form as though it might catch fire.

"You’re…requesting reproductive rights?" Da Vinci asked incredulously, adjusting her monocle.

Giant Dad stood proudly, his zweihander leaning against the wall like a silent enforcer. "Correct. Starting with Minamoto no Raikou."

Minamoto no Raikou, who had been standing nearby, immediately flushed. "O-oh my!" she stammered, fanning herself with her hand. "W-what an honor!"

Da Vinci slapped her forehead. "Okay, first off, this isn’t how things work. Second, why Raikou specifically?"

"She has the physique of a goddess and the maternal instincts of a saint," Giant Dad explained, his voice deep and matter-of-fact. "The ideal candidate to carry the next generation of the legend."

Raikou fainted on the spot, overwhelmed by the sheer audacity.

Chapter 1: Bureaucratic Shenanigans
Da Vinci sighed as she explained the process to Giant Dad. "First, you need approval from the Chaldean Ethics Committee, which is…well, it’s just me, because most Servants don’t care about paperwork. But there’s also a petition process, medical clearances, psychological evaluations—"

"Enough," Giant Dad interrupted. "Where do I fight the committee?"

"You don’t fight it," Da Vinci said, exasperated. "You argue your case rationally."

Giant Dad stared at her blankly. "I am rationality incarnate."

This began the legendary Chaldean Reproductive Rights Rumble, a bureaucratic comedy of epic proportions.

Chapter 2: The Petition Conflict
To meet the petition requirement, Giant Dad needed signatures from 100 Servants. This seemed easy at first, given his harem’s undying loyalty, but complications arose.

"Sure, I’ll sign," Tamamo no Mae said, holding the quill. "But only if I’m next in line for ‘reproductive rights.’"

"Unacceptable," Raikou growled, snapping back to consciousness. "I am first. I am the motherly archetype here!"

"Excuse me?" Medusa interjected, her voice low and dangerous. "I think the legend of Medusa would pair nicely with the legend of Giant Dad."

The room descended into chaos as the Servants began arguing over their place in the line of succession. Giant Dad, standing stoically amidst the storm, turned to Astolfo, who was happily munching on a scone nearby.

"Astolfo, gather the others. Tell them their signatures are required for a matter of supreme importance."

Astolfo saluted. "Aye-aye, boss!"

Chapter 3: The Ethics Committee Showdown
After gathering 100 signatures (and inadvertently sparking several side romances among his harem), Giant Dad submitted his petition. This brought him face-to-face with the Ethics Committee—Da Vinci and Hans Christian Andersen.

"And why," Hans began, glaring at Giant Dad over his tiny notebook, "do you think it’s acceptable to start mass-producing children in Chaldea? Are you trying to create an army of mini-Dads?"

"Yes," Giant Dad said simply.

Hans slammed his notebook shut. "Well, at least he’s honest."

Da Vinci sighed. "Look, Dad—can I call you Dad? No? Fine. Look, Giant Dad, the implications of what you’re proposing are…huge. Chaldea isn’t exactly equipped to handle a Servant baby boom!"

Giant Dad crossed his arms. "Then equip it."

"You don’t just—" Da Vinci started, but Giant Dad interrupted by dramatically unfurling a blueprint he had somehow prepared in advance.

"Behold," he said, "the Chaldean Nursery Wing. Self-sustaining, staffed by my harem, and powered by poise."

Da Vinci gawked at the absurdly detailed diagram. "Did you seriously draw this?"

"No," Giant Dad replied. "I had Jeanne d’Arc do it. She’s good with crayons."

Chapter 4: The Bizarre Baby Boom
To everyone’s surprise, the Ethics Committee approved the project. "It’s not because I agree with this insanity," Da Vinci clarified, "but I want to see how far this madness goes."

Construction began immediately, and within weeks, the Chaldean Nursery Wing was operational. Servants who had once battled gods and monsters now took shifts babysitting a growing number of Giantlings—tiny, masked toddlers wielding miniature zweihanders.

The chaos was immediate.

"Mash!" Jeanne d’Arc shouted as a Giantling climbed onto her shoulder. "Help! They’re so heavy!"

"Coming!" Mash cried, running in with a baby carrier shaped like a shield.

Meanwhile, Mordred found herself locked in a wrestling match with a particularly stubborn Giantling. "Oi, quit biting my gauntlet, you little terror!"

Even Gilgamesh, who had reluctantly joined Giant Dad’s harem after his earlier defeat, found himself roped into childcare duties. "This is beneath me," he muttered, holding a Giantling at arm’s length. The child responded by bonking him on the forehead with a toy zweihander.

Chapter 5: The Plot Thickens
As the baby boom continued, a mysterious figure appeared in Chaldea: Solomon, the Grand Caster.

"Your actions disrupt the balance of the world," Solomon declared, pointing an accusatory finger at Giant Dad. "I cannot allow this to continue."

Giant Dad stood, his Mask of the Father gleaming ominously. "You’re just jealous."

A battle erupted, with Solomon unleashing the full might of his magical arsenal. But even the Grand Caster was no match for Giant Dad’s unbreakable poise. With a single swing of his zweihander, he sent Solomon hurtling into a wall.

Defeated, Solomon sighed. "Fine. But if these children grow up to conquer the world, don’t say I didn’t warn you."

Epilogue: The Legend Expands
The Giantlings grew quickly, their inherited poise and charisma making them natural leaders. Soon, they began forming teams to explore Singularities on their own, much to the dismay (and exhaustion) of Chaldea’s staff.

Giant Dad, sitting on his throne in the nursery wing, surveyed his growing empire. "The legend never dies," he declared, watching as a Giantling parried a Noble Phantasm with its toy zweihander.

And so, the absurd saga of Giant Dad continued, a tale of love, ambition, and an ever-expanding legacy that would echo across time.

>>54199
Episode 4: "Giant Dad vs. The Shadow of Solo: A тест of Poise"
Prologue: A New Challenger Approaches
The nursery wing was bustling as usual, filled with the chaos of Giantlings sparring with each other and terrorizing the staff. Giant Dad sat on his throne, watching the chaos unfold with pride, when Astolfo burst into the room, panting and clutching a piece of parchment.

"Boss! Emergency news!" Astolfo exclaimed, waving the paper.

Giant Dad raised an eyebrow beneath his Mask of the Father. "Speak."

"There’s a new warrior in Chaldea," Astolfo said dramatically, "and they’re saying he’s here to challenge your title as the ultimate legend!"

The room fell silent. Even the Giantlings stopped wrestling to listen.

"Who dares?" Giant Dad growled.

Astolfo gulped. "They call him… Let-Me-Solo-Her."

Gasps erupted throughout the room. Jeanne d’Arc clutched her chest. "Not the legend! The wielder of two katanas and the naked will to conquer anything!"

"He’s real?" Medusa whispered, her eyes wide.

"Real and here," Astolfo confirmed. "And he’s already taken down half of your harem in one-on-one duels!"

Chapter 1: The Challenge Begins
In the training grounds, Let-Me-Solo-Her stood waiting. The mysterious warrior wore nothing but a pot helmet and carried two sharp katanas, his lean, scarred body gleaming in the sunlight. Around him lay the defeated forms of Tamamo no Mae, Raikou, and Scáthach, all unconscious but otherwise unharmed.

"You’ve had your time, Giant Dad," Let-Me-Solo-Her declared as the towering figure arrived on the battlefield. "Now it’s mine. Chaldea cannot serve two legends."

Giant Dad stepped forward, his zweihander resting on his shoulder. "Your challenge is accepted. Prepare yourself."

The crowd of Servants erupted into cheers and murmurs.

Chapter 2: The Duel of Legends
The duel began with a ferocity Chaldea had never witnessed before. Let-Me-Solo-Her’s twin katanas moved like lightning, slashing and parrying with surgical precision. Giant Dad countered with his infamous poise, absorbing blow after blow without flinching.

The ground shook as the two legends clashed. Sparks flew as metal met metal, each combatant pushing the other to their limits. The fight stretched on for hours, with neither gaining the upper hand.

"How is he so strong?" Jeanne d’Arc whispered, clutching her flag.

"He’s…parrying Giant Dad’s poise!" Mash exclaimed in disbelief.

Finally, Let-Me-Solo-Her leapt back, breathing heavily but grinning beneath his pot helmet. "You’re good. But can you handle this?"

He sheathed his katanas and crossed his arms. Giant Dad paused, confused, as the air around them seemed to change.

Then it hit him: Let-Me-Solo-Her’s presence was overwhelming. It was a charisma born not from brute strength but from sheer will and undeniable confidence. The crowd felt it too—some of Giant Dad’s harem members visibly swooned, their loyalties wavering.

Chapter 3: The Harem Schism
The impact of Let-Me-Solo-Her’s arrival began to ripple through Chaldea. Several members of Giant Dad’s harem, including Medusa and Tamamo, began questioning their allegiances.

"He’s…different," Tamamo murmured, staring dreamily at Let-Me-Solo-Her. "So mysterious, so bold."

Medusa nodded. "I feel drawn to him, like a moth to a flame."

Jeanne d’Arc frowned. "We cannot betray our lord! Giant Dad is the one who brought us together, who gave us purpose!"

But the cracks were forming, and Giant Dad felt the pressure. For the first time, his dominance was being challenged—not just physically, but emotionally.

Chapter 4: The Betrayal
One fateful night, Let-Me-Solo-Her made his move. He approached Tamamo no Mae in the garden, his pot helmet glinting in the moonlight.

"You don’t belong under his shadow," he said softly. "You are a goddess, meant to shine on your own."

Tamamo hesitated. Her loyalty to Giant Dad wavered as Let-Me-Solo-Her extended a hand. "Come with me. Together, we can carve a new legend."

The next morning, the news spread like wildfire: Tamamo and Medusa had defected to Let-Me-Solo-Her’s side. The harem was in disarray, with several other members on the verge of following suit.

Chapter 5: The Redemption Plan
Desperate to restore order, Giant Dad called an emergency meeting of his remaining allies. Jeanne d’Arc, Mash, and Astolfo sat around the table, their expressions grim.

"This is no longer just about strength," Jeanne said. "He’s attacking your charisma, your ability to inspire loyalty."

Mash nodded. "We need to remind everyone why they chose to follow you in the first place."

Astolfo grinned. "I’ve got it! A talent show! We’ll showcase your awesomeness in a way that no one can ignore!"

Chapter 6: The Legend Showcase
The talent show was a spectacle like no other. Giant Dad demonstrated his unmatched poise by balancing his zweihander on one finger while reciting Shakespeare. Let-Me-Solo-Her countered with an intricate sword dance that left the audience spellbound.

The competition was neck-and-neck until Giant Dad unveiled his secret weapon: the Giantlings.

The tiny warriors stormed the stage, performing an adorable yet awe-inspiring routine of parries and spins. The crowd erupted into cheers, their faith in Giant Dad restored.

Chapter 7: The Final Twist
Let-Me-Solo-Her approached Giant Dad after the show, extending a hand. "You’ve earned my respect. Perhaps there’s room for two legends in Chaldea after all."

Giant Dad nodded. "Perhaps. But know this: the legend never dies."

From that day forward, the two legends coexisted in an uneasy truce, their rivalry fueling Chaldea’s greaтест adventures.

>>54200
Final Episode: "Legends Never Die, But Empires Do"
Prologue: The Crack in the Legend
Months had passed since Giant Dad and Let-Me-Solo-Her forged their uneasy truce, but the harmony in Chaldea was fragile. The nursery wing, once a symbol of Giant Dad's overwhelming charisma, was beginning to fracture under its own weight. The Giantlings—children of legends—were growing quickly, their strength and personalities as chaotic as their lineage.

Meanwhile, rumors swirled of unrest among the female Servants. The once fiercely loyal harem had begun to question their roles, their ambitions, and even the man they had devoted themselves to. The larger-than-life presence of Giant Dad, combined with the shadow cast by Let-Me-Solo-Her, had created a tension that no one could ignore.

And then came the Vision.

Chapter 1: A Prophecy Foretold
It began with Medea, the witch who rarely left her workshop. One night, she emerged pale and trembling, clutching her staff. She demanded an audience with the leaders of Chaldea.

"I have seen it," she announced, her voice cracking. "A future where Chaldea burns, consumed by the ambition of two legends."

Da Vinci leaned forward. "Two legends? You mean Giant Dad and Let-Me-Solo-Her?"

Medea nodded. "Their rivalry will bring ruin unless one of them steps down. But neither will yield willingly."

The room fell silent. Jeanne d’Arc, seated beside Mash, clutched her flag tightly. "There must be another way," she said. "We can’t let their pride destroy everything we’ve built."

"How do you propose we stop them?" Da Vinci asked. "This is Giant Dad we’re talking about. And Let-Me-Solo-Her? He’s just as stubborn."

"We’ll need more than words," Jeanne admitted.

Chapter 2: The Division
The prophecy spread like wildfire, and with it came cracks in the already fragile alliances within Chaldea. Servants began choosing sides—not just between Giant Dad and Let-Me-Solo-Her, but among themselves.

Artoria (Lancer) remained steadfastly loyal to Giant Dad, her honor bound to him by the love they shared. "He is my king," she declared. "I will follow him to the end, no matter the cost."

Raikou, ever the doting matron, also stood by Giant Dad, though her resolve was tinged with doubt. "I swore to nurture his legacy," she murmured. "But is this truly the right path?"

On the other side, Tamamo no Mae and Medusa rallied behind Let-Me-Solo-Her, their faith in his quiet strength unshaken. "He represents freedom," Tamamo said. "Not dominance, but choice."

The divide worsened as more Servants joined the fray:

Ishtar, driven by her ego, declared herself neutral. "Neither of them can handle me," she quipped.

Scáthach, intrigued by the potential for combat, allied temporarily with Let-Me-Solo-Her. "I will stand with him, but only until the battle is done."

Nero Claudius, torn between admiration for both legends, vowed to mediate. "An empire cannot thrive on war alone!"

Chapter 3: The Catalyst
The final spark came during a mission to a newly discovered Singularity. Giant Dad and Let-Me-Solo-Her were both deployed, leading separate teams into a hostile, war-torn realm where ancient gods clashed over a dying world.

The mission was supposed to be simple: retrieve a Holy Grail fragment and stabilize the timeline. But as the two legends clashed with the local deities, their rivalry escalated.

Giant Dad, ever the symbol of overwhelming power, charged headfirst into the fray, his zweihander carving through divine avatars like paper. Let-Me-Solo-Her, with his nimble strikes and unparalleled skill, outmaneuvered enemies with surgical precision.

But their methods were too different. Giant Dad’s brute force destabilized the already fragile Singularity, while Let-Me-Solo-Her’s precision strikes unintentionally triggered a cascade of events that led to the Grail fragment falling into enemy hands.

The mission failed, and the Singularity collapsed.

Back in Chaldea, tensions boiled over.

Chapter 4: The Confrontation
Giant Dad stormed into the central hall, his Mask of the Father glinting ominously. Let-Me-Solo-Her awaited him, standing with his arms crossed, the pot helmet reflecting the cold light.

"This ends now," Giant Dad growled. "Your meddling has cost us the Grail."

"And your recklessness nearly destroyed the team," Let-Me-Solo-Her countered.

Their voices echoed through the room, drawing a crowd of Servants.

"You talk of freedom, but all you’ve done is sow division," Giant Dad spat.

"And you talk of legacy, but all you’ve done is build a prison of your own making," Let-Me-Solo-Her shot back.

The tension reached its breaking point as the two legends drew their weapons.

Chapter 5: The Duel for the Future
The duel was inevitable. In the grand arena, surrounded by every Servant in Chaldea, Giant Dad and Let-Me-Solo-Her prepared to settle their rivalry once and for all.

Da Vinci tried to intervene. "If you do this, you’ll tear Chaldea apart!"

But neither man listened. This wasn’t just about pride—it was about what they stood for.

The battle began with a ferocity unmatched by any previous encounter. Let-Me-Solo-Her’s twin katanas danced like lightning, cutting through the air with precision. Giant Dad, unyielding as ever, absorbed the blows with his poise and retaliated with crushing strikes from his zweihander.

As the fight dragged on, it became clear that neither could gain the upper hand. But as they clashed, something extraordinary happened: the Servants watching began to realize the futility of their division.

Chapter 6: The Choice
At the climax of the battle, Jeanne d’Arc stepped between them, her flag raised high.

"Stop this madness!" she cried. "Look at what you’ve become! You were both meant to inspire us, to lead us—but instead, you’ve brought us to the brink of ruin!"

Her words struck a chord. Giant Dad and Let-Me-Solo-Her paused, their weapons lowered.

"I fight for legacy," Giant Dad said quietly.

"And I fight for freedom," Let-Me-Solo-Her replied.

"But what about unity?" Jeanne asked. "What about the future of Chaldea—not just for us, but for the world we’re meant to protect?"

Epilogue: A New Beginning
Moved by Jeanne’s words, the two legends agreed to a truce—not one born of rivalry, but of mutual respect. They dismantled their factions and worked together to rebuild Chaldea’s fractured unity.

The nursery wing became a shared project, a place where the Giantlings could grow and thrive under the guidance of both legends.

And while their rivalry never truly faded, it became a source of strength rather than division—a reminder that even legends must learn to adapt.

Chaldea, united once more, faced the future with renewed purpose.

>>54201
okay i am done posting ai crap. I need to lay down, it was lots of fatigue sending these posts.
I asked ai to write this somewhere in november-december. before 2025.